Tips for Dating Someone with Children

Years ago the words, “’Til death do us part,” really meant something but today the institution of marriage has lost its value.  Divorce rates are on the rise and a child being born out of wedlock is also increasing at an alarming rate.  These trends have led to a flood of single parents in the dating scene.  It is not uncommon to meet a potential partner who already has one or more children from a previous relationship.  Dating someone with children is somewhat more complicated than dating someone who does not have children but if you exercise common sense and use caution, you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and their children.  The following tips will provide some insight into entering a relationship with a single parent.

One very important tip for dating someone with children is to refrain from meeting the children unless the relationship has progressed to a point where the couple is seriously considering making a further commitment in the relationship.  Meeting your partner’s children is an important step in a relationship but this step should be reserved for a time when the relationship is heading in a serious direction.  This is for the sake of the children because it could be very upsetting for them to get close to their parent’s significant other only to have the relationship end soon after the child begins to accept this person into their life.  Young children especially may be searching for someone who can replace their missing parent and may get their hopes up if they meet their parent’s significant other.  Once you are ready to make a serious commitment in the relationship though it is definitely time to get to know your partner’s children so they can get used to the idea that you are going to be a part of their lives.

Even before you meet your partner’s children, it is important to be respectful of your partner’s relationship with their children.  This means that you should not ask your partner to choose between you and the children if there are scheduling conflicts.  Also, you should understand if your partner has to cancel a date because their child is not feeling well.  Realizing that your partner is a parent before they are anything else will help to prevent you from becoming jealous of the attention that they lavish on their children.

Once you do meet your partner’s children you may wish to include them on some of your dates.  Planning activities such as trips to zoos or amusement parks are a good way to include your partner’s children on a date.  These child friendly activities are a great deal of fun for the children and also have aspects that the adults can enjoy as well.  If the children are old enough to explore the park or zoo on their own, you can set up a schedule where the children will have some time to enjoy the location on their own while the adults enjoy some alone time as well.  You can also include meeting times where the children and adults get together for some family time as well.  For example you can let the children explore for a couple of hours and then meet for lunch and a few rides or attractions together.  Even if the children are not old enough to explore on their own, you can just enjoy the time together as a family and plan on spending some quality time with your significant other either later in the day or on another adults only date.

While it is important to plan family friendly dates every once in awhile, it is equally important to plan dates that only include you and your partner as well.  This is time where the relationship can really grow.  Neglecting to spend time alone with each other and focusing solely on the children can be detrimental to the relationship because it takes away from the intimacy that you share with each other.  Having a friend or family member watch the children one night a week, gives you and your partner the opportunity to spend some quality time working on your own relationship.

Dating someone with children is becoming increasingly common.  Even if you don’t have children and have never dated anyone with children it is important to realize that you may soon find yourself in the situation where your partner is a parent.  Choosing an opportune time to meet the children, respecting your partner’s relationship with their children and planning dates that include the whole family as well as dates that are just for you and your partner will make dating someone with children a manageable experience.